


nightmares

by nonbinaryezrabridger



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Dissociation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s01e07 The Asylum, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, no ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinaryezrabridger/pseuds/nonbinaryezrabridger
Summary: After the asylum, they make it back to their safe house, but they're all scarred by the experience. They find comfort in each other.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Garfield Logan, Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven, Koriand'r & Raven
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73





	1. Dick and Gar

**Author's Note:**

> tw for this chapter: disassociation, discussions of death, blood

\---------

Dick walks back to the car, his body moving mechanically, how he imagines the robot man Gar had lived with would move. Kory’s hand is on his arm, and he feels like the contact is burning against his skin. He wants to ask her to stop touching him but he can’t get his mouth to move. A fog has settled over his mind, making it hard to think, harder to move, and impossible to speak. 

He had killed people. 

No, not in the hallway. Even then, in all his protective fury, he had been careful enough to not kill, only maim. As if that’s much better. 

Technically, it had been Kory who had done the killing. But Bruce wouldn’t see it that way. Dick doesn’t either. He’s the one who pulled the metaphorical trigger, he’s just as guilty as Kory is. 

They reach the car and Dick watches Rachel help Gar into the backseat in a haze. Finally Kory says something to him, but it sounds like muffled gibberish to him. He doesn’t even bother trying to respond. Kory tries again, before falling silent. Finally he feels a hand on the back of his head, pushing him into a crouch so he doesn’t hit his head on the doorframe, and helping him into the car. 

He sits, as Kory directs him to, aware that he’s acting like a mannequin but unable to stop. His thoughts are dragging their feet, making him so slow to respond that he can’t hear anything or move when someone touches him. Finally Kory’s hand leaves his arm and he sighs in relief at no longer being touched. She’s only trying to be comforting, he knows, but right now he feels dirty, disgusting, like he doesn’t deserve her comfort. 

She gets in the other side of the car and gets ready to drive. Dick finally focuses on one thought enough to turn his head to check on the kids. Who wouldn’t want to be called kids, he knows, but that’s what they are. His moves, finally, his head flopping to the side, allowing him to see into the back seat. He can feel Kory watching him as he does.

Rachel, kind, competent Rachel, is whispering something to Gar. She looks okay, but Gar looks a mess. He’s staring straight ahead, eyes blank, as she wipes at the blood on his chin with her sleeve. Dick feels a surge of protectiveness despite only meeting Gar a few days ago. He wants to ask what’s wrong but Kory beats him to it:

“Are you guys okay?”

Rachel looks at them, her eyes wide and scared, despite the tentative safety of the van. She starts to say something, but looks down before completing it. Gar just stares straight ahead, shaking all over. Dick and Kory's worry skyrockets, making the atmosphere more tense. Before either of them can say anything, the plain looking woman sitting next to Rachel speaks up:

“He bit someone.”

Dick understands suddenly; the first time Bruce had taken him out, he flipped and kicked a thug straight in the face, joyful until he heard the crunch of a broken nose and saw the blood fly. The thug had fallen back and tried to pull a gun, Dick remaining frozen, but Bruce had put the man down. 

Then he had checked on Dick, his voice and hands kind. He’d taken Dick straight back to the mansion and had Alfred make him some hot chocolate. He’d put off being Batman for a night, just to take care of Dick. But he still remembers the terror coursing through him, how his hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and underneath it the terrible thrill of it all. 

Suddenly words come pouring out of Rachel:

“Mom, he didn’t just bite him, he—“

Rachel looks down again. Her mother’s face does something complicated, landing on trying to cover up disgust. Next to Rachel, Gar begins to cry silently.

Dick can imagine it; Gar, desperate, unpracticed, try to kill someone in tiger form. He can imagine the blood and the screaming. He can see the blood stains still left around his mouth. He can see it in Gar’s eyes.

Kory seems at a loss for words, as does Rachel. Dick still can’t get himself to speak, no matter how much he wants to. In the end, it’s Rachel’s mother who leans over to comfort Gar. She pulls him down over Rachel’s lap and into an awkward hug, running her hands through his hair and shushing him. Rachel watches her, still wide eyed, but with a slight smile. Kory throws a look back, checking that everything’s okay, and sees Gar burying his head in Angela’s stomach, leaning into the offered comfort. 

The engine hums as they drive,heading back to safety and their borrowed apartment.

——————

Slowly, Dick comes back to himself. When he can finally move himself properly again, Kory is trying to pull him out of the car. He stands suddenly, knocking her off balance and she stumbles a step backwards. Then she gives him an intense look, cocking her head like a bird, before saying:

“You’re back.”

Dick’s legs are wobbly so he decides to head for the door before he falls. Kory quickly catches up with him despite his head start. She just gives him a relieved smile and follows him inside. He makes it to the couch and sits.

Things happen around him, a rush of people trying to figure out where to put Angela. He ignores it and quickly drifts off to sleep.

When he wakes, it’s because of a sound. It’s the sound of glass shattering. He jumps up, ready to attack or defend, only to hear something he didn’t expect: sobbing. He slowly realizes no one’s coming for him, and follows the sound. He comes around the island in the kitchen to find Gar, crouching on the floor, trying to clean up shards of glass as he sobs. 

Gar looks up at him, eyes full of tears, and stutters:

“I’m sorry.”

Dick sighs, crouches down and starts picking up glass. Gar’s still trying to as well, though Dick can see that his hands are shaking and he’s already nicked himself. Dick stops picking up glass and reaches out to take Gar’s hands, gently holding them still. 

“You can stop, Gar. I’ll get it.”

Gar sobs harder at that, dropping his head and just crying with everything in him. Dick feels a wave of despair, of wanting to help but not being sure how to. He thinks of earlier in the car, how Gar has leaned into Angela’s hug. 

He asks, voice almost a whisper:

“Can I hug you?”

Next thing he knows he’s got an armful of sobbing teenager. His green hair tickles dick’s shoulder as he buries his face in Dick’s chest. His tears start to soak into the fabric of his shirt, but Dick doesn’t mind. Instead he just holds him, rocking back and forth. 

After a long time, the sobbing starts to lessen. Dick waits for it to stop before he asks:

“Do you want to talk about it?”

For a moment, Gar just stares ahead with dull eyes, wet with tears. Then he whispers, so quiet Dick almost can’t hear him.

“I killed him.”

Dick sighs, holds him tighter. This is going to be rough.

“Yes, you did.”

That was not the most diplomatic thing he's ever said. Gar starts to sob again, hiccuping with the force of it. Dick brings a hand up to run fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him physically if not with his words. Once Gar has calmed down once again, Dick speaks:

“Gar, this is something that happened. You can’t ignore it, it won’t go away. But you’ll be okay, I promise you.”

Gar looks up suddenly, eyes locked with Dick’s, intensity burning into him.

“Are you okay?”

Dick swallows, trying to figure out how to respond to that. Finally, he decides the truth is the only way to go.

“No, not yet, but I will be.”

Gar crumples, losing his intensity, and curls back into Dick’s embrace. When he speaks again his voice is stronger, strung tight with self hatred:

“The worst thing is I almost enjoyed it.”

Dick clutches him tighter, the words a painful echo of how he feels after a fight. The fading adrenaline, the thrill of it, his heartbeat thrumming faster, the darkness, the potential for more…

“You’re a good person, Gar. This doesn’t change that.”

Gar sighs heavily, breathes in, breathes out. Whispers:

“I don’t believe you.”

Dick smiles.

“That’s okay. It’s still true.”

Gar looks up, ready to argue, before smiling and looking down. Dick grins too, and they sit in the dark, holding each other.

\-------


	2. koriand'r and rachel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for this chapter: blood, discussions of death, description of fatal wounds

\-------

Rachel doesn’t wake screaming. She wakes up mute, unable to make a noise, frozen in terror. The bloody slit on the man’s neck still grins at her and she cowers under its glare, body perfectly still like a rabbit hiding from a fox. She stays like that for what feels like hours, just staring at the wall next to her. Finally she lets out a shaky breath and moves her legs, just slightly. It’s like a spell has been broken; suddenly she can move again. She sits up, swinging her legs off the bed, and stands as quickly as she can. She practically runs down the hallway, trying to keep her footsteps quiet so she doesn’t wake Gar up.

She makes it down the stairs, heading towards the couch where she knows Dick is, when she sees a pair of crouching figures. They’re wrapped up in a hug, but she can see Gar’s distinct green hair and Dick’s short dark hair. She considers disturbing them for a moment, before deciding against it. She creeps back up the stairs, heading for the bedroom where she knows Kory is. 

She doesn’t want to disturb her, but she knows she needs help. She needs to talk to someone. Kory will forgive being woken up, Rachel is sure. She reaches the bedroom and pushes the door open as slowly as possible, trying not to let it make a sound. 

Kory lies in bed, her pink curls strewn across the pillow, her chest moving slowly up and down. She looks so peaceful that Rachel hesitates. But then she thinks of the blood spilling down his neck and she’s galvanized into motion, taking a seat on the bed and reaching out to gently shake Kory. 

“Kory, wake up.”

Kory groans, her eyes fluttering open. They glow slightly in the dark, making her look more like the alien that she is. Kory’s eyes focus on Rachel's face and then she sits up, looking concerned.

“What’s wrong, Honey?”

Rachel looks down, unable to meet her eyes, shame filling her. Shame at what she had done. Shame at not being strong enough to deal with it on her own. The shame and the fear freeze her again and she doesn’t respond to Kory’s question.

Kory sighs and shifts on the bed, getting closer to Rachel but not reaching out to touch. Then she speaks softly but purposefully:

“Sweetheart, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Rachel shudders, her breath catching. She doesn’t want to say it out loud; that feels like it’ll make it real. So instead she holds her hand out towards Kory and asks:

“Can I try and show you, instead?”

Kory looks curious and nods, reaching out to take Rachel's hand. Rachel revels in the contact for a moment, the warmth of Kory’s grip making her feel a little better already. Then she focuses hard, and suddenly the memory begins to play out for the two of them to see. The man gloating, threatening. Rachel’s eyes going black. “I take it back.” The horrible red smile opening on the man’s neck. Him choking, reaching out, dying slowly. Then it ends as abruptly as it started. Kory jerks back, hair flying for a moment before settling again. She stares at the wall for a moment before turning to Rachel, her green eyes sad, and says:

“Rach, I’m so sorry.”

Rachel collapses into Kory’s arms, all the fearful energy that had been keeping her upright melting away. Kory holds her tight, humming a song that Rachel doesn’t recognize. After a long moment, Kory speaks again:

“You aren’t bad for killing him. You had to, he would have killed us all. Please don’t feel like you’re bad, Rachel.”

Rachel buries her head in Kory’s shoulder, wanting the images to stop replaying in her mind. She stutters out:

“I can’t sleep, I just keep seeing him.”

Kory hums understandingly, running a hand through Rachel's hair.

“That’s okay. It’ll take time to get over. But you’re safe here, nothing will hurt you.”

Rachel tries to take deep breaths and let being wrapped up in Kory calm her. 

“Is it okay if I sleep with you, Kory?”

Kory chuckles, smiling that beautiful smile of hers.

“Of course, darling.”

She lies down, taking Rachel with her, so they’re lying side to side, still hugging, a hand still in Rachel's hair.

“Sleep. You’re safe here.”

Rachel doesn’t sleep, but she does feel safe in Kory’s arms until morning. 

\---------


End file.
